Question
I’m 18 yrs . old, and you will my personal mothers are pushing us to wed to my relative from a different country. He could be saying it’s ideal for the family and me personally. You will find attempted need with them, however they are perhaps not listening. I understand some body I would personally will wed, nevertheless they never even wish to know who he could be.
Answer
Thanks for your concern. I empathize with your serious pain and you may challenge as you cannot be forced toward marrying somebody. You ought to make ways to create what is right, stick to the sunna as well as have bravery. Allah could be on your side for folks who place the intent correct.
Honoring mothers
Very first, render your mother and father the latest regard and you may thought it are entitled to in the place of declining point-blank. Allah, Extremely High, said: “Along with your Lord have decreed that you worship none but Him and you getting dutiful towards the mothers. If one otherwise both of them to get retirement in your lifestyle, say to not ever all of them a word-of disrespect, nor scream at the them, however, address them in terms of award. And lower unto them new side from distribution and humility as a consequence of mercy, and you can state, My Lord! Bestow to them Your own Mercy because they raised me personally as i was short. [Qur’an -24]
Communicate
Carry out istikhara regarding your cousin and follow it truly. In case it is bad, inform them your feelings. Is completely fair, communicate conseils pour les femmes chrГ©tiennes cГ©libataires with your and you may consider this the real deal. Then make your decision and inform them that it merely won’t performs and you genuinely considered they. Be respectful, don’t get furious, and sustain respect, but end up being agency and you may fearless. You should never waver.
The man You like
Simply because you adore this most other people, this doesn’t mean that he’s Mr. Best. Please proceed with the Prophet’s guidance (Allah bless your and provide your peace), take a step back and check out him fairly, not emotionally.
The fresh new Prophet (Allah bless your and give your tranquility) told you, and this pertains to both genders, “A lady is actually partnered having five something: having her wealth, getting their origin, to own their particular beauty otherwise their own piety. Select the pious, or both hands would be shielded within the dust!” [Bukhari & Muslim]
Satisfy
The great thing can be done are promote openly and define on them that you find strongly about it fits. They could arrive at take on your whenever they purchase long that have your. Policy for them to satisfy, often if necessary, to fulfill him well, as well as their parental instincts is enough to see what you see in him. Naturally, two of you is to employ istikhara all the while.
Turn to Allah
Check out their Lord regarding the at the same time that have learning new religion correctly and you will using it regarding the best method possible. Pray promptly, see Quran each day, learn some, hope istikhara and come up with dua over the last 3rd of the evening to have quality and you may recommendations. Need a program into relationship with our company to arrange oneself.
Protect your center, and do not get psychologically linked to one people if you do not wed along with your parents’ true blessing. Expect you’ll leave out of this man if necessary. Yield to that which Allah facilitates and leave what Allah makes hard, and you may select comfort regarding the choice, during the sha Allah.
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for a couple of decades where she analyzed aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and you will Arabic. She up coming attended the newest College or university out of Tx during the Austin, where she finished her Professionals within the Arabic. Afterwards, she transferred to Amman, Michael jordan where she read fiqh, Arabic, or any other sciences. She afterwards moved back into Mississily.